But you have to be careful you don’t let all of your excitement bleed into your text message. "A text from an ex you still care about may send you into a serious session of overthinking and wondering what it means (i.e., do they want to get back together? Do you truly love this person? Your feelings will be raw and you will be confused, stunned…all sorts of emotions will flood your mind. If you have spend a decent amount of time in No Contact and your relationship history has been good with him, then it would be OK to respond and proceed slowly. We haven’t spoken to each other since then You probably were so invested in the relationship and miss him or her so much, you are just dying to hear what he or she has to say. Stay true to your plan and focus on your recovery and rebuild your confidence The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here. So you need quality time to allow for your body and mind to flush out those stress hormones and recover. Please help me!! But you need to stop and think about how you really feel about them. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. When your ex sends you well wishes (birthdays/holidays etc).. When your ex is just trying to get attention/being needy or trying to start a fight. This works well in those situations where you believe he will react very poorly if you completely shut down communications without him being aware of why. #6 Figure out if you even trust the person. Remember why you guys break up in the first place. You need to beam with value. I am so miserable without him in the romantic way and I am still very much in love with him. In fact, it’s probably one of the first things you’ve learned how to say in English. If this sounds like the situation you’re in, you’re not alone. Now,  there are exceptions. Here’s the other important thing, you need to have a legitimate reason why are you texting your ex-boyfriend. Rarely does that happen. Hi Emma, even though this went well you have rushed things rather than getting him invested in spending time texting and talking to you. I asked about his new job (he was unemployed at the time we broke up) and congratulated him on getting the position he was after. One day we decided to meet and He stood me up and told me he can’t make it and didn’t even bothered to give me an explanation about it and after that I pretty much stopped texting him. It can help you realize that maybe you’re better off without them. The specific time they reached out to you says a lot about what they’re thinking. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. My boyfriend and I broke up on a bad note. So I texted him asking what did he mean, and if he would call me, so that we could have a conversation for clarity, because I was confused. He replied with smh.. Remember, you are the Ungettable Girl! Getting small positive conversations through texting is the goal for the first few interactions. However, winning your ex-partner’s heart all over again can be a daunting task as emotions are running high and you do not want to do or say anything that might aggravate the situation. This is especially true if they know that your ex wasn’t very good to you. Being clear is important, because it'll prevent any miscommunication down the road. Remember, if he sends you one of these kind of one word text gems during the no contact period, unless you are toward the end of your no contact timeline, then it’s best you ignore him. as you have gone 4 weeks not speaking you could reach out and see what happpens in that time. It is really a smart way to go. When your ex says something sweet/supportive/inspiring etc. It is a slightly positive response. Another client whose ex wouldn’t respond to him for a long time: Hey (name], I respect your decision to not respond to me. How do I now respond if he asks about my kids do I just say good and carry along or as I used to babble about them? In all these years spent coaching, I see so many people make the mistake of prematurely trying to prove to their ex that they’ve changed and that they’re worthy of a second chance. If your ex wants to meet up and hang out with you, that’s a sign that he wants to be around you. You allow your ex to be without you so that he/she can miss you because your ex can’t miss you if you are still in contact. He puts in minimal effort, you put in no effort. If your ex boyfriend is going to at like an insensitive ass, ridiculing your heartfelt text, you need to ghost him for a while. Then, make sure you’re a good storyteller. Because it’s such a simple question, knowing how to respond to it may seem pretty straightforward, but sometimes it can be a little more complicated than that. You need to learn about the being there method and understand that if she is pregnant then that is going to be an emotional difficult time for the both of them to deal with. When the conversation ended, he texted me a few hours later saying my latest pic (posted the weekend before) on Instagram was ‘unreal’ and I’ve had a ‘break up glow up’. He is clearly not putting as much effort into the text message as you are. But I’ve already done so many videos. Actually I’m kind of guilty of that last one. He ghosted me again, this time I guess because he was moving and stressed out (still ambiguous and immature). Then you tell them that they have loss their chances. After a month of NC a brief conversation (I reached out), and then another 2 weeks of further NC, we had a long back and forth conversation about light topics. He is not giving me much to work with here but he said I need to gain his trust back because he told me I shouldn’t talk to this one guy I flirted with before our relationship but I still did but only as friends. Don’t just ask them to go out for coffee – this could set off alarm bells inside your ex’s mind. If there is important information you both need to exchange, then certainly attend to that, then return to NC. Focus now on yourself and your female friends. Here’s how to send a text that’ll make your ex realize you’re finally done and over them for good. Ultimately, it’s up to you. I also have so many other resources that will likely suit your needs! Work amazingly together and are more successful together than working alone. Best to let things calm down a bit. It’s all about the dreaded one word response after you have put your heart and soul into a text message. Avoid texting him back after the No Contact period if you are unsure if he is the right guy for you. If it’s anyone you think will report back to your ex, don’t do it. “Always have something interesting to say.”. Today I shared some pictures of a small trip I did with a friend for a long weekend and he texted me asking about my trip (“did u really traveled to X place for X event? This is a really important thing to consider when your ex wants you back. By doing this, you let your ex experience the breakup. After 5 years together, he decided we wanted different things in the next couple of years, but didn’t rule out a potential reconciliation in the future. This period can lead to all kinds of chaos. I wrote a book called The No Contact Rule which talks about making exceptions. If you say anything negative about your ex, she may go running to him to use it against you. After two months of texting each other every 5 or so days we meet to talk and return some stuff and I’ve been in no contact rule for about 40 days or so. You should know in your heart why you want to get back with your ex and if you are unsure, this may be a sign that you should move on. Depending on where you are in the ex recovery process, it may be appropriate to ignore him or respond and slowly repair the communication lines. Let’s take a look at 4 common text messages that your ex boyfriend will send to you and how exactly you should respond to them. Trust your gut and go with it. So, when it comes to responding to an ex after No Contact, using a bit of humor is a great way to break the ice and take the bite off any negative feelings she may be holding onto about you. Well, perhaps your ex does love you. Do you even miss them? When discussing emotional or confrontational subjects (take control of your emotions before responding). Before you rush to respond with something snarky, put your phone down and take a deep breath. These texting rules apply before, during, and after the No Contact Period. miss you’. I have seen it work so often over the last eighteen years to get an ex to want the one they dumped back that I expect it to bring results. He texted me back, “A response?”, which made no sense to me. It probably means he is curious about you. He went radio silent for a week at which after a week he says (after he had been drinking) ‘I’m done being mad now’, which then made me super mad and then he got mad because I got mad! I have not contacted him for this whole two months and then yesterday out of the blue he text me wow. You too! Being confident and and keeping your stuff together certainly is advisable. So I text him, a text asking him what was his decision, because I had given him time to think, and what was his response. I texted, him that it was off the next 2 days, and I asked him if he wanted to talk? After 8 yrs. What’s your advice? We are supposed to spend Xmas and NYE in Japan together which he knew months ago I had paid for and struggled to do so. But your mind is probably working overtime trying to figure out how to respond to an ex who is contacting you and apparently might want you back. I feel very silly, guilty, and embarrassed despite apologising to him and us moving the conversation on from it. I guess that will probably drive him crazy. No, once you find out about his deceptive and lowly ways, what you need to do is step away. But busy”. Or he could be having a bit of a panic attack and just can’t help himself. Or if you really, really want to get technical, don’t respond at all. And well, I can certainly understand the excitement of having your ex boyfriend text you something like that. Get Your Ex To Want You Back. Two days ago, I told him I needed space from him and I asked him to respect that, to now again implement NC. They’re reaching out or sharing something that’s important to … Hi Alex, I would suggest that you move on if the relationship has been toxic – walk away. How do I prove to him that I changed and that I won’t hurt him anymore. You can get so excited and wrapped up about hearing from your ex, you just drop everything you are doing. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. He contacts me at least twice a week here and there on my social media, because I’ve left it open for contact channels but I don’t know what to do. A short text with the right words can do the trick and trigger the right response from your ex. If he seems really concerned, then he might want to get back together. Play you cards right, you can build greater value. If your ex happens to want you back, they will offer a million things that could go differently in your relationship. If an emergency has occurred, it is understandable you respond. then i replied back saying: yes noted. He needs to put more effort into the relationship, based on your reasons for breaking up. Required fields are marked *. However, you should never even think about getting back together with a partner who is mean and abusive in any way. This is by far the most important part. You put a lot of effort into it. [Read: 10 signs you should give a relationship another chance]. I and my ex boyfriend broke up for 2months nw [Read: The reasons you miss and think about your ex often]. They’re thinking about how you could keep them entertained and now they’re lonely. He unblocked me and messaged me on Instagram. You ignore him if you are in No Contact, if youre not then just reply “no”. Realize that you don’t have to respond at all if you don’t want to. Since you still love your ex dearly, probably the first thing on your mind after a breakup is getting him/her back in your arms. You could still have a really good shot of getting him back but having him beg for you back is probably not in the cards. Keep doing no contact and ignoring him? If it was completely random and you really can’t pinpoint a reason for it, then it might be genuine. I suggest that you do a 30 day No Contact where you do not reach out to your ex at all during that time, and if he does not speak to you in that time so be it, you can then go to start the texting phase. ; Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. Now, let’s go to the final and probably most common and most asked text message that I get. One of the things you will learn today is not only how to respond to an ex asking how you are doing, but let me give you some answers now on  how to deal with a whole assortment of text message questions he might send you such as: He might indeed miss you a lot, but if you are in the middle of your no contact period, be strong. My ex boyfriend and i have gotten together and broken up twice now. If you must, you can always send him a text explaining you need some space and won’t be communicating for the next few weeks to heal and focus on other needs. That’s kind of why I wanted to put this video together for you. If you had a great relationship and the breakup was very unexpected, then it’s perfectly fine to think about reuniting. He may be impulsive and insecure and you are his rock. If not, then meet these texts with what I describe below as a similar mirrored response. This could mean things like whether you want kids, and how soon, and where you want to live, and what sort of lifestyle you want. His text messages to you are his way of feeling you out. We both stopped taking to each other for 4 weeks and one day until he wrote ‘Hi, how are you?’ which is a low investment message. Then he responded right away, texting me back that he understood, and yes we could be friends, and the reason he didn’t call was bcuz he had a friend die of COVID19, and that he will never forget me, and he’ll check on me from time to time. How Attachment Styles Plays Into Getting An Ex Back, Everything You’ll Ever Need To Know About “The Being There Method”, Success Story: Exactly How She Got Her Long Distance Army Ex Back, Success Story: He Said “I Don’t Take Ex Girlfriends Back” Then Promptly Came Back. We spoke for about an hour in person, and I tried to keep keep it light. Be direct and honest about your desire to keep a platonic relationship by using short, clear sentences. All rights reserved. Think about talking to a mutual friend BUT BE CAREFUL. Then once your NC is complete you can build up the conversations slowly. Then in early September he reached out to me and we reconnected then got back together. Then, 3 days went by no response from him. If they’ve been with a lot of new people and dating a lot, it could be a sign that they’re just looking to get some action. If you want to know what to do when your ex wants you back, we have a system that’ll be sure to work. You want to reinforce to your ex that you are a catch. It takes so much work to get an ex boyfriend back, so when you get a text message where your ex is basically standing you up, should you act like this…. Exes are tricky territory when it comes to your thoughts and feelings. Nevertheless, you should know there are certain tricks and ploys your ex boyfriend (or ex girlfriend) might try on you to induce you to respond. We had a short conversation that flowed very well, and agreed to meet up in person. He asked how I was & asked for some advice about his mums friend he needed some hospital advice ( we had the same condition ) I made a big mistake in that I tried to flirt with him and mentioned something we would only talk about if we were still sexually involved. I am going back to no contact and I will never make that same mistake again. Well certainly, I don’t want you doing anything like this! He said, okay. Hi Shelbea, I would suggest that you delete the message without looking at it and just continue with your NC. But sometimes, one of you can grow to regret those decisions. You do not take back exes. Then he stopped talking so I mirrowed. We broke up because he didn’t put much effort into the relationship. You shouldn’t be even thinking of answering your ex’s text messages until you have had sufficient time to build value. I know I messed up, but I told him many times I’ve changed and I’m gonna prove it to him. To make your ex want you back (as fast as possible), you will gracefully bow out. When an ex suddenly gets in touch with you out of the blue, it can be a confusing and frustrating situation. This is why, if you want your ex to open back up to you and want to talk to you on the phone and see you in person, you need to focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good when she is texting with you. A big sign that you shouldn’t even consider getting back together with your ex is if you’ve been doing great in life without them. Since trust is the most important part of a relationship, there’s no way you can get back together with someone you don’t fully trust. In this article, I’m going to give you a 5 step plan that will teach you how to win back your ex by magnetically drawing him back in – and keeping him there once he’s back. #9 When do they contact you? Hi #5 Think about the state of your relationship prior to the breakup. It’s really important that you first implement the no contact rule when you’re thinking of texting your ex and stick with it. My ex texted me today asking me how I was and what I’ve been up to, with the classic ‘I just wanted to reach out. You silence will speak volumes and reset the expectation that you have no tolerance for immaturity. #2 Figure out what they’ve been up to. For example, say you’ve been texting your ex back and forth for a few days and you want to finally take it to the next level and set up a coffee hangout. Anyways he hasn’t said anything about meeting to talk about things. Hi, Block him. And your ex boyfriend has some catching up to do to properly woo you over. Am I Doing No Contact The Right Way? So, pretend for a moment that you sent this text message to your ex. You want to keep their interest. In my opinion, as a rule of the thumb, it’s always courteous or polite to respond to all correspondence from an ex you are trying to get back with. However, if they were on good terms with your ex and really think they were good for you, then they’ll help you decide. Well, if you’re not mirroring, you’ll probably respond like this. I thought of just ignoring it but I feel like I need to text something back.. I was polite and gave him some information. Just avoid answering his message if you suspect he drunk texted you. Click the image below to take a short 2-minute quiz to find out whether it’s too late to get your ex back (it’s free! [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what true love feels like]. One of the biggest mistakes that I see men and women make when it comes to texting their ex is they text them too soon. I was doing so good until his name popped up with a text. My Embarrassing First Kiss: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This! Hey Lenushca, it will not make him hate you it is going to make him miss the person he knew at the good times. This is true whether you want to get back together or not. It’s a little bold! So as your relationship was a long time ago I do recommend you read about the being there method, and articles about long term break ups as this will help you understand what it is you need to do to get your ex back. He has been such an asshole to me and taken me on a toxic emotional rollercoaster every time we’re in a relationship/friends. So, if he says to you. If you are satisfied that you have completed a 30 day No Contact and then you can start reaching out with texts that Chris suggests in a few days time. You want to make sure you are both clear about what happened and why. many times. If you think they’re mad and you don’t know why then do some sleuthing. Well, let’s see what Sebastian has to say about that.”. #1 Relive the breakup in your mind. Hi Praise, so from the message he has sent it seems he is more open to speaking with you but it is not following program. If you want your ex to finally leave you alone, you’ll have to reply in very specific ways. But you don’t won’t to sound overly happy in some situations, because it might not fit the situation. What should I do? Sign #3: Does your ex want to be friends with you? Sometimes its pays to be more serious, more mature, even reserved in order to present the right image. You think your ex might want you back. All it means is that you probably shouldn’t get unrealistic expectations about having your ex beg for you back. After all, he went to the trouble of reaching out to you. Why people regret their breakups and want to get back together. He said he is mainly scared that even though I claimed he changed, he’s still gonna get hurt. If you want to know what to do when your ex wants you back, we have a system that’ll be … If you just continue things the way they are, then the relationship might still have a lot of issues that will inevitably have to be worked out in order for the relationship to be successful. It could also help prevent awkward conversations if your ex is getting the wrong message from your texts. So, what would be the correct way to mirror his text? “Oh, that’s completely fine. This may be a really hard thing to do, but it’s essential if you’re trying to figure out if you want to get back with your ex. The impression I get is his very confused & he doesn’t seem to know how to approach it. Hi there, so you need to do a Limited No Contact, and you can find the information on the website. But there are things you can do to cause your ex to see that he made a mistake. Now, let’s pretend that your ex boyfriend, after spending a good amount of time missing you, sends you this text message. Be it via text, Facebook, Instagram, or in person, this kind of run-in can make for a super awkward conversation, depending on how you handle it. “Should I text him back. Hi Rebecca, so the fact that he is going away for his career and he feels he cant trust you is going to be an issue here. If you are concerned, that’s probably a good indicator that you are doing no contact right. There’s a lot of emotion in there. Some experts will say stuff like. So, I thought it would be prudent for me to make a video for you so you would have an idea of how to respond to an ex boyfriend text. In fact, have an entire guide on Text Messaging and it is a Bible on how to respond in all sorts of situations! Then again, your ex may be a real swine and is just harassing you with his texts. You’re alone together, but it’s not as intimate as it would be if you were sitting on your couch together. Hi Jane, so the first issue here should be if she really is pregnant – can you deal with being with him when he has a child with someone else? . This means you might need some help figuring it all out. If You Don’t Want Him Back: He needs to do some chasing to  win you over. This being said I am a very bubbly hyped kind of girl. Also, it is non refundable. He is also going away to the marines at the end of June and I’m scared he’s gonna not give me the chance to prove to him I’ve changed and start up a relationship again. I apologised for confusing him and he mentioned its hard for him to know how to act still as it’s still very fresh (2 months) and that until we are just friends it’s hard to talk in that way. Take the quiz. If he acts this way right after the breakup, then it is best you ignore him in most situations. I asked him if he felt like talking about how he was feeling, after everything had settled down after the funeral to call me or I could call him. It’s very possible they’ve been around a lot of your friends and have been talking about how great you’re doing. Sign #2: Does your ex ask you for meetups? Use a little bit of reverse psychology. You ignore and move on. Stay true to your plan and focus on your recovery and rebuild your confidence. While your ex bf may still feel rejected and frustrated with your explanation, it shows you as being a classy person and serves you in the long run. So I sent him money and asked him to call me, because I thought he was having some kinda financial crisis as to why he wasn’t talking to me. he told he misses me and wanna work it out but I don’t understand whether I should continue my NC rule or respond him? And i recognize he put our chat box in ignore settings. #4 Get your friend’s opinion. Liked what you just read? Then afterwards he said thank you and called me after the pet name we made for eachother. But getting a friend’s opinion will never hurt. If this sounds like the situation you’re in, you’re not alone. When it comes to your ex wanting you back, they’ll be sure to have their opinions heard. If you respond with similar emotions and hostility, you will simply escalate things without satisfaction, and just get a new piece of hostile mail back. 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