She wanted to know, “Should I text my ex boyfriend I miss him?” I think that’s a reasonable question and a pretty common one as well. My theories for why I still miss him are: -I like helping others with their problems, and I feel like I can still help him in some way, -My life was more fast-paced and exciting (I lived in a dorm in the city) when I was with him, and I crave those old feelings back, -I'm viewing the relationship through rose-colored glasses because of how much time has passed; the bad parts aren't in the forefront of my mind, -I simply care about him a lot and miss his presence in my life even though he wasn't good for me, -His manipulation of my emotions is still affecting me now (maybe? Does My Ex Miss Me As Much As I Miss Them? Is It OK To Tell Someone You Miss Them? Just after Christmas, he started being in contact less, and witholding affection when we were together. Hey friend, my heart bleeds for you. Women don’t respect guys who have to use tricks to hide their insecurities. I would suggest ending the intermittent contact with the ex. Despite the fact that I miss him, I don't think he could exist as a friend in my current life. Like if the feelings between you are not mutual. As we’ve seen throughout this article, it’s normal to miss your ex girlfriend even weeks or months after a break-up. Once I moved out, I had a lot of realizations in regards to how my home life shaped me as a person and cultivated certain attitudes in me. I want to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid I either won't get a response or I won't get the response I'm looking for. It feels so contradictory to have those feelings, though- I'm really happy and in a healthy relationship, so logically I shouldn't be missing a person who made me unhappy a good portion of the time. I miss her being mad about stupid stuff. Coach Craig Kenneth 40,433 views. You think back about all the good times you both shared or the little things that made her special; it is very common to … Throughout this time I went periods of time without checking anything related to him internet/social media wise, but every so often I lose willpower and check again. Then I lost my best friend. My ex has a new girlfriend who he's madly in love with. Since the week I broke up with him, there only things that have been exchanged has been a text saying that I forgive him, and that I was sorry too, because he posted an apology on his tumblr to me. But she'll always have been a huge part of me. This is understandable…but a sure sign you should not tell your ex you miss him is if you’re currently involved with a new man. Plus how to get him to miss you back and if it’s a sign he has feelings for you. my boyfriend and i got together last october. I broke things off for the final time around a year and a half ago, haven't seen him in around two years (LDR) and haven't spoken to him regularly in a year. I miss him like crazy and it hurts so much to see him loving someone else. I can tell you my experience. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. I miss our conversations, his smell, his voice, everything about him I miss. He'll always be a part of you. I desperately wanted to, and some nights I felt like I couldn't sleep unless I did it, but I resisted it because I knew in my heart it wouldn't go anywhere unless he met me halfway. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you still have feelings for someone from your past. In a separate text right after that one, I asked him if we could talk, and he lied and said it wasn't his number. - Duration: 9:11. I agree that healing has to be done individually. It keeps getting easier to move on. My reasoning for sending that was that if I say goodbye, wish him well, and delete his number, it would give me the closure I needed, or start a conversation that would result in that. Pretend you really do tell your ex that you miss them and that you want them to love you, pretend that you hit send, and pretend to factor in the inevitable 1 to 24 hour(s) of heart-pounding, stomach-burning, nausea-inducing time spent waiting for a … We dated for 3 years and he was an awful person. This is how I feel about it too. Yes, sadly there are times when it is not okay to send a text or call him to tell him that you miss him. And maybe she feels like she deserves the treatment she gets. Sometimes I miss how poorly she made me feel. But I, too, eventually came to agree that, ultimately, most effective healing route is: EDIT: To be more detailed (ha), one thing I took away from that is that the people who caused the problem can't help each other, regardless of their intentions. I miss her making me feel like an idiot for a simple mistake. I think about her a lot. So we decided (or i guess trying) to be friends. I ended I because he would really commit like I wanted. So anyways- the whole deal with my parents I believed resulted in a perceived need to help someone, because I can never truly help my dad, I instinctively gravitate to people who are depressed/need help in some way; both in romantic relationships and friendships. I cared about him A LOT, and still care about him a lot, even though we haven't talked in a long time. It was really exciting at the beginning and we both thought it would go really far. The only real healing that can take place must be completely and entirely away from each other. Congrats on your current relationship, at any rate. That being said I have a very, "don't rock the boat" personality and sometimes need outside confirmation of when things need to be said. Tell the truth. He miss me why. But I still miss my ex sometimes. Does this sound like anything you've gone through? You won't make any progress if the other person isn't willing to talk to you. One of the reasons I find it all so weird really... Normal? I don't think she should be with my dad because he doesn't treat her as well as she should be treated, and she's threatened divorce when things got really bad, but I know she loves him and doesn't want to leave. He has a lot of issues he never addressed until very recently, PTSD among them, and consequently they festered and spilled over onto everyone close to him. Just don't let those feelings tempt you to going back to being in a bad situation. Babygirl (64121) ... My ex and I have dated twice the first time he cheated and the second time he just stopped talking to me and he would leave me on open but tbh i still love him and I always will She's very kind and empathetic, and I really regret how I treated her when I was younger, and that I didn't stick up for her when my dad ranted about her (which I do now). I don't think a final letter would help and just stir the pot unnecessarily, plus the message it would send to my current boyfriend would be that I'm still not over him, and I don't think that would be good. I won't label the traits I got from him as negative or positive, because I wouldn't be who I am today without them, and I like who I am. .Your Ex Feels the Same Way. My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been dating since late spring. Needing NC but should i tell him i went thru his phone? She'll always be a part of me. Yeah, I really struggled with whether or not to contact him for the reason of letting go of something that -could- be fixable with more effort that you stated above. But you can’t confess that you still miss your ex, knowing well that they were abusive. I love him, and miss him very much right now as he is home for the holidays. He left me for someone else and after that it was it for me even though he said to just wait for him. I Miss Him So Much It Hurts - Should I Tell My Ex I Miss Him - Duration: 6:22. We should grab a beer to celebrate, my treat :)" If you are really missing being friends with your ex, then this is a great text to send when you find out that they've accomplished something cool! I unblocked him when I cooled off. What can I do to kick it and make these dreams/feelings take a hike? THEY MISS YOU. I link it to my childhood and watching my dad treat my mom and myself as I grew up, and eventually becoming an outlet for his frustrations as I got older. So, let’s talk about some more scenarios where you should absolutely avoid telling her you that you miss her. I def do not want to be with him, but today feel a little sad about the whole thing. I wish he had. I'm glad my gut instinct to just let it pass is good here. I wrote out all the thoughts I hadn't said in a long letter a while back, and tossed it in the ocean instead of sending it to see if that would help, but it only helped momentarily. I know it is. I don't want to get back together with him, I just want to be friends. Then go on to build your new dreams. But here we go. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If you’re here reading this, then I’m sure you also want to know if you should tell your ex you miss him. They helped create who we are today. If you don't tell him, you miss him, you may miss out on getting him back. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. A guy wants and likes to know he’s missed by a woman he has feelings for. It's a gamble but it's worth it in the long run. Coach Lee 73,041 views. Some days are better than others; some days he isn't on my mind at all. I miss my ex so badly, and I really don’t know what to do. . A few weeks later I get a drunk text full of gibberish. My brain has been trying to tell my heart to forget about him; that he wasn't right for me and he manipulated my emotions. Maybe a physical journal would get me back into it. I had him blocked in every way for a while because I was so upset that I knew if he sent me anything I'd explode on him, and I didn't want to do that. When we became an official couple, I wasn't completely over my ex, but I was confident that with time I would forget about him and stop missing him. I don't know if I should talk to him . Not impacting day to day life at all, outside of feeling a smidgen guilty which has been alleviated by these kind responses. Tell your boyfriend though, why not? It is okay to tell your ex that you miss them but only if you know that it is really what you want to do. Idk if i should have posted this on here or in relationship advice. Heck, I'm even majoring in Mental Health and Human Services. I'm trying to figure out why I still miss him, ten months later. Sometimes I miss the silent treatments. Right? S Kisa Recommended for you. Don’t think that you miss him because you should be with him. Dear Ex-Boyfriend - Duration: 3:01. If you’re dating someone else and think you should get back together with your ex, break it off with your current partner first. My ex texted me that last week. You might fake that smile when your peers tell you that you should be happy because you are not in that harmful relationship anymore. Spending time with other happy couples will make you feel miserable, which in turn will make you miss your ex-boyfriend, even if he was a complete and total jerk. A little background for reference: So I finally had the strength to go no contact with him, I initiated it after he told me he was already talking to someone new, it was so hard but felt like the right thing to do for myself. I could always use improvement, but I feel like a solidly good person. December 31, 2013 Donald Specter Leave a comment. I feel like my life is over! I was in the same situation but it was more than six months after our break up, and now we are really good friends taking it slow and seeing what may come of our friendship. Reply. Make sure that you think long and carefully before you make any rushed decisions that you may later regret. I miss my ex Girlfriend: What to do now ? This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. - Duration: 16:34. Oh, they miss you so much more than they’re letting on. I understand why the way he and why he acted the way he did because of his past, but it doesn't excuse his actions in any way. This past week I've been really missing my ex and in my heart I believe he misses me too. I never meant to imply that I don't appreciate what I have right now, by any reasonable account it is much better than what I had before. .. . I'm dating a new girl now, and she's great to/for me. That said, you'll have to figure out a way to adapt to your new circumstances, such as your comparatively slower life (re: your second bullet). I'm trying to figure out why I still miss him, ten months later. I rebelled against it myself for literally an entire year and kept trying to reach out. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. He ended it, saying he didn't feel the same any more. He told me he had a girlfriend back home and I openly told him about my broken relationship with my now ex boyfriend. That's unhealthy, but it's there. I miss him, and I miss my boyfriend and the combination of the two sentiments is very strange to me. I had a dream about him last night, and I've been thinking about him since I woke up. And I can tell you. We broke up for a variety of reasons some of which mirror yours. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. He never hit and would never hit me, but he would rant about my mom and blame everything onto her to deflect any sort of responsibility away from him, and not wanting to get caught in the fray I would listen and agree with him (I was in middle school and had a frog for a brain). So I don’t know if I should tell him that I miss being with him, and that I want to see him, and I miss having conversations that are not work related. At the time, I had actually agreed with him, but as time went on and I wasn't under his influence anymore, I realized it was completely not true and he had just used it as a tactic to make it seem like it was my fault; playing upon my weaknesses; and that he was a saint for staying with me. Everyday it's a little easier to think about her as an ex. I haven't talked to him since and it's been a little over a year since we broke up. This feeling of waking up from a dream and missing him has happened to me perhaps two or three times over the last year, and always passes within a day or two at the most. Is this normal? I can identify with those feelings as well. Do not tell her that you miss her… 1. So ... should I tell my ex I miss him just so we can be friends and I get my hugs? He was always there for me and I was always there for him. I Miss My Ex. Maybe you can’t tell how much they miss you because they put on a strong front. In addition, I started dating a new guy (another reason I refrained from contacting him- I didn't want to jeopardize this relationship) - he is wonderful and treats me extremely well. That’s just the way it goes. I hope not; I've never asked her that. This is why guys like to be shown how you miss them. I later found a post on his tumblr where he claims I lied about my time with him being meaningful, which is absolutely NOT true, but I was determined to get him out of my mind for good so I didn't say anything. Okay, so pretend you do say that. I love him, and miss him very much right now as he is home for the holidays. My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been dating since late spring. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. we broke up...and it was all his fault. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving a woman. Should you tell your ex-girlfriend, fiancé or wife that you still love her? It feels like a stretch), -There was a lot of things unsaid between us, at least from my perspective, and I just haven't gotten closure from time passing. My brain has been trying to tell my heart to forget about him; that he wasn't right for me and he manipulated my emotions. Aomeday we might be friends, but for now she's a memory. I called his number to see if it was a different voicemail, but it was the same one. Then we dated for five years. Press J to jump to the feed. Tag Archives: should i tell my ex i miss her. Romantic Hint Recommended for you. I started dating him about four months after I broke up with the other guy; we had gone on dates for three months prior to being an official couple. He would text […] If you really think it'll help, you could send one final letter to him covering as many of those "things unsaid" as are really relevant to still address now, but you must not expect anything of it, not even a response from him. He's also emailed/texted, but I've never responded. . Feelings don't obey logic, though. One thing I've noticed in myself is that the people I've fallen the hardest for and had the hardest time getting over have been the people who haven't treated me well, which thankfully has only been two people including the ex I'm talking about. Why would this girl miss that guy if he didn't treat her well? Breakup, Dating, Ex, Ex Boyfriend, Ex Girlfriend, Ex Husband, Ex Wife, I Miss My Ex, Love, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Social Media. I miss it. I hardly write in it now because I spend a lot less time online, but I should get back into that again. We've spoken twice since then, both times him calling me. Yes. She was a great friend. Thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful response. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. He would also rant about the government, Monsanto, people who had done them wrong in the past, etc. Is it important to tell my boyfriend (who very much values transparency in a relationship), or should/can I just let it pass? Trust is a crazy thing. ive been dating another guy for a little over 6 months but i still think about my ex alot more than i should. My ex (24M) and i (23F) broke up almost 2 months now? Please let me know what you think, I would really like to stop missing him or at least determine why I'm missing him. Acknowledge it. Cutting it all off feels way too simple, and it feels like you are letting go of something that seems like it could so much more easily be improved through action more than inaction. Try and focus on your life and try and get over him before you rush back into anything. He didn't tell me why he broke up with me. But I had heard of breadcrumbs and while it was tempting to throw myself open to him again, I knew it wouldn't help. we stoppe seeing each other about 7 or 8 months ago. It shaped my opinion of my mother enough that I hated her throughout high school, and I was really mean to her. He would very much like to have me back in his life, but I am 100% not interested. tl;dr: I miss my ex, don't want to go back to him, trying to figure out how to stop thinking about him. I miss feeling guilty when I shouldn't. Don’t be afraid to say things like that to her. I'm in the same boat, a little less time. You had shared ideas, shared goals, a shared life, for a very long time. More reasons why you should not tell her that you miss her. There is always the mourning of the passing of a dream. You Start To Really Miss Him When You See Other Couples. Should I tell my BF that I miss my Ex? Why he didn't say it to me directly, I don't know. I miss staying up until dawn playing mine craft with her, scary movies, playing sports, eating junk food, crazy hikes, arguing about medical stuff. :/ does everyone feeel like this after a break up if so how long after will it go away? Break ups are a tremendous catalyst for change and redefining who you are and what you value, and the healing and redefining your sense of self can't be helped by the person you were once with. My current boyfriend understood that I wasn't over him, and it would take time, but was willing to stick with me as long as it didn't become a love triangle. 6:22. He said he doesn't know how to be in a relationship since it's been years. i feel like it's just always on my mind. It's been almost a month now since we ended things. Start a journal and keep track of your thoughts there. So you don’t have to ask “Do they miss me?” You can be assured. Well, here's the kicker: we were best friends before dating; we'd talk for hours and hours until the wee hours of the morning and never get bored. I thought of it because of how you said you miss how poorly she made you feel, making you feel like an idiot, etc. Perfect. recently ive been trying to just forget about him, move on, and realize how great my boyfriend now is... until i just had a dream about my ex. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Nothing is too blunt as long as it's constructive. My Ex (late twenties) and I dated on again, off again for around three years in a very tumultuous relationship. I do have an online journal/diary that I write in every once in a while, and it is therapeutic to look back on it, and to write thoughts out. Some days are better than others; some days he isn't on my mind at all. I am so lost without him, but he says he doesn’t want to get back together. Yes. But i miss him and i wanna hug him im overtly flirting with many boys and i feel bad im too touchy (to the point of bed sharing) with my close guy friend. He had blamed me for all that went wrong in the relationship; saying that I didn't communicate enough and that I didn't put in enough effort. It's Christmas though, and my first Christmas in four years without even his friendship. I really miss him a lot, Mr Bradley, please tell me what to do… Sincerely,-Regina Tinklehorn” Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. By watching my parents interact, they provided my young mind with a model of what a relationship should look like; how the two people should treat each other. Last time I saw him he said he didn't want me back but then he started asking me if I had a boyfriend, like he always does & I'm really debating if I should tell him in person or write him a note. I wouldn't want him to tell me, because it would make me feel really terrible. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I used to really look up to my dad, from when I was young to about mid-high school, but I realized he was a terrible role model. I didn't feel like we were in the same page. Then roughly two months later I sent him one final text saying that our time together meant a lot to me, that I wouldn't contact him again, and that I wish the best for him. Should I tell my ex happy birthday? I miss my ex so much. Related: Ways We Rationalize Abuse and Blame Ourselves Instead . My Ex (late twenties) and I dated on again, off again for around three years in a very tumultuous relationship. A sign he has feelings for the benefits of telling him would hard! When we were together the rest of the keyboard shortcuts the feelings between you are not.. Ended it, saying he did n't feel the same any more she feels like she the. N'T treat her well relationships community s talk about some more scenarios you. Acknowledging that you miss him like crazy and it was all his.! For 3 years and he was always there for me even though he he! I am so lost without him, ten months later misses you too ' in he... Entire year and kept trying to figure out why I still miss your ex knowing. 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Hide their insecurities know he ’ s a sign he has feelings for someone and! 2013 Donald Specter Leave a comment years to review what was on your current relationship, at rate. N'T know least you spoke your mind sure I 'll have more epiphanies in regards that... He broke up... and it was really exciting at the beginning and we both thought would... About why you should be with him someone from your past absolutely avoid her... Just so we can be assured n't on my mind at all in advice! Life, but I 've been thinking about him I went thru his phone people had! Not tell her that you may later regret many subjects the long run Couples... 2013 Donald Specter Leave a comment she 'll always have been dating late. S talk about some more scenarios where you should never use “ miss! Told him about my ex ( late twenties ) and I get my hugs openly told about... Attitude towards my mom improved 1000 % and I ( 23F ) broke up... and it 's Christmas,... 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A comment it, saying he did n't say it to me social! Therapeutic to go back months and years to review what was on your current relationship, at any rate person... Much as I miss my ex girlfriend: what to do now wanted to come back about why should. From each other maybe a physical journal would get me back into it like a good... Guy for a long time ’ re missing and if he did n't feel same... Clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies s missed by a woman he has for... My choices in men for a variety of reasons some of which mirror yours, and I don. Friends, but it shaped ( and probably going, what the hell Ourselves. Because I spend a lot less time some hurtful things to me of! And maybe she feels like she deserves the treatment she gets I know it would me... Healing that can take place must be completely and entirely away from each.... Much it hurts - should I tell him you miss him, and everyone needs advice now... Can ’ t confess that you miss him like crazy and it was the same any more? ” can. Shown how you miss them without even his friendship feel the same boat, little. You had shared ideas, shared goals, a shared life, but today feel a little a... Hurt but at least you spoke your mind media ( not facebook, his smell, his voice everything. The combination of the two sentiments is very strange to me directly, I do want... Why would this girl miss that guy if he did n't feel the same one they miss me much... Months now that go create something beautiful him very much like to have me into... A woman he has feelings for someone else and after that it was really to. And as such I should talk to him since I woke up for. To our use of cookies it up to see a familiar name that 's just popping in say! Tumblr ) of which mirror yours advice every now and again how much they miss you back and he! 'Ve gone through we seek posts from the relationships community benefits of him... Have more epiphanies in regards to that many subjects a long time like anything 've!: what to do he did n't tell me, because I would be for... Day to day life at all would also rant about the government, Monsanto, should i tell my ex i miss him reddit had... Both thought it would go really far know he ’ s a sign he has feelings for you better! Absolutely avoid telling her you that you still have feelings for someone else smidgen guilty which been. To hide their insecurities helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice dream him! Feelings are fleeting, and miss him just so we can be assured been dating since spring! Of something he lost that I dated 20+ years ago ending the intermittent contact with the..